10 Must-Haves for the Fraternity Alum in Your Life

This is part 2 of Getting the Fraternity Funk Out. Thanks for waiting.

When you picked-up your stuff, you might have noticed gaping holes where your messes used to be. This is where the frat funk culprits rear their ugly heads. If you are thinking something like: Yea, it would be great to have a place to put my glass of water at night instead of on the floor... and a light to read by so I can switch it on and off without getting out of bed... then stop reading this post right here because you are on the right track. You will be waving your freedom flag by sundown.

On the other hand, if you are experiencing fits and spurts in picking-up your stuff, consider comedian George Carlin's punchline: Why is it that other people's stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?! With this new, shit-full perspective, take a look at the list and decide what you already have that will do and what won't. Without much ado, here it is: 

1. lamp 
2. slipcovers for couch and duvet 
3. wire storage baskets 
4. something decorative 
5. rack for hanging stuff 
6. paper management system 
7. hand soap 
8. (2) towel sets 
9. odor remover 
10. stamps

Here is the list again, only this time with much ado:

1.) Let there be lamp light!

Olinda Table Lamp with Night Light - $207 [Link]

Exhibit A: Ambiance. What we are looking for here is beyond what overhead lighting can do alone and that is setting a mood. This is a lamp's job. Why is this important? The right mood will aid and abed your intentions for each space. Example: Bedroom for sleep and relaxation. So decide on the mood or intention of the space and pick your lamp.

Basically, there are four types of lights: Overhead, Spot, Task, and Ambient. (Ambient pictured.) Have at least two types of light in spaces you spend any time in. You get what you pay for with lamps in particular so consider this one of your larger investments. Choose something versatile. The Olinda does double duty with it's clean lines and low/high lighting options.

2.) Get new fabric, fast!

Twill Dropcloth Slipcover - $99 potterybarn.com [Link]

Woven into the fabric of fraternity life is the toleration of fleas and conversely, flea-bitten things. If you cannot replace it, cover it! A quality slipcover is usually a fraction of furniture replacement or reupholster cost. To top it off, many are wash and wear. There is no (good) excuse for a flea-bitten couch to ever see the light of day again.

The main feature of every space should sparkle. The fabric in every shade of this duvet cover from IKEA has a pleasingly rich sheen, one you have to see in-person to appreciate. Consider the light brown if the red-orange is, well, too red-orange. At this price point you can have one duvet cover for every season. (Or every hot date!)


3.) Put piles in baskets.

Pool locker baskets - $59 restorationhardware.com [Link]

Wire storage baskets trump their plastic storage bin counterparts on style and function. While Plastic can hold anything (including its own) behind closed doors, it looks rather silly Out, say on a bedside table holding magazines or in the bathroom filled with toilet paper. Use these singularly for clothing piles on closet shelves (or closet floors, for goodness sake!)

Sadly, wire storage baskets have gotten crazy expensive. If you are lucky enough to find a lot of them off-the-beaten-path, good for you. If not, at least there is a bonus to paying full price: getting exactly what you want and the option to return it if you don't.


4.) It's decor, dude.

Botanical No. 5551 Print by Kari Herer - $100 etsy.com [Link]

Part of what makes a room comfortable are just plain decorative things. Consider the decor of a jail cell and the decor of a hotel room. Even if decor was the only difference, just about everyone would rather stay in the hotel room. Something decorative could be as simple as a throw pillow or two. A painting. A large vase of water holding a tree branch full of leaves, just beginning to turn color. Whatever it is, it must invoke a sense of comfort.

Note: the possibilities, while seemingly endless, are indeed endless at two points in particular 1.) large pornographic posters and 2.) graphic sports paraphernalia. Regardless of your views toward either, both would have a hell of a time putting anyone at ease. At Ease are the operative words here. If you want to rally the troops, fine, just do it outside of your decor.


5.) Rig-a-rack, tho not on door back.

Branch Clothing Rack by Desire to Inspire [Link]

Wall-mounted or stand-alone, any rack will do. Just be sure it is placed far enough from a doorway so you can clear it on your way out. Also, hanging stuff on the back of a door may make it heavy and create a banging upon entering or exiting, which is undesirable.

(I am out of steam for sourcing pictures for the next items on the list. Maybe it is because each picture is worth a thousand words? If you have an excellent picture to illustrate the following points, please share!)

6.) Every paper has a trail.
Paper In, Paper Out. Every successful paper managment system involves a recycle bin.

7.) Remember the soap.
Everyone uses this all the time and if they don't, they should. Buy a nice one (i.e. one in a pump that costs more than $1.)

8.) Air-drying is out.
Towels are one of those things that take living, to luxury. Get one for you and one for joie de vivre.

9.) Face the stink.
Invariably, odors arise (to the face). Try removing (or moving!) before you attempt to mask them, please. Try pure ayre, which magically removes odor with a super secret food-based ingredient. Non-toxic too, which is always a bonus.

10.) Thank your lucky stars.
You probably have people to thank. (Even if it was just for helping you up off the bathroom floor that one night.) You can get places in life only by the help of a great many people. So have a roll of stamps on hand. When gratitude strikes you, you can strike back with a thank you note.