Van Owner, we understand the circumstances by which you have selected a van for all your tours de vie. This post is for you. With a bullet.
Honda is advertising their van by taking a more tranquil approach; they accomplished this by mashing the aforeitalicized words together to form Vanquility, an entirely new state of being. Similar to Zen, to belabor and labor and labor the point.
Ask not what your van can do for you, but what you can do for your van. Consider bumper/ window stickers to help your van reflect more of who you are. Right down to your height and your er...width, if you desire. Wait. Ix-nay on the idth-way, they are all stick people. Admittedly, family stick people decals are getting a shocking amount of window play out there so if you are shooting for something more edgy, take an actual photo and paste it up.
|Baby on Board Surf Decal by Slaps|
(For all the formulas you need to know, read The Spectacle.)
|Honda Odyssey Racing by JeffAhn|
As luck would have it, there was a Top Gear episode featuring a few old vans. Tests included a drag race, how long it took to load and unload various items, tailgating, replacing the driver's doors, length of time for a burglar to unlock the rear doors, and outrunning a police patrol car on their test track. If there is an opportunity to get your groove back, Van Owner, it is surely placing in any of these competencies.